For those of you who don't know about or haven't seen the original Halloween (which is just plain wrong if you haven't), it's about a crazy psycho killer named Michael Myers who kills his family when he is a child, minus his sister Laurie (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and then goes on to finish what he started by killing all of her friends so that he can attempt to stab the foo out of her. Of course he doesn't get her in the end, which is why a long line of sequels follow, yet none of them are quite as perfect as the first one.This movie defined suspense. It may not be very entertaining to people who are really caught up in the psychological thrillers that seem to be so popular now, but in it's day, which is the 80's, Halloween was the shit. Michael Myers was the perfect epitomy of evil, and to people like me, he still is.
So why the hell did Deminsion allow Zombie to screw it up? Yes, there have been some pretty ridiculous sequels to this movie, but they are sequels, they aren't supposed to be as good as the first one. But a remake. A remake is a totally different story. If you are actually going to try and remake a classic such as this one, you better know what the hell you are doing. The whole point of a remake is to do what was done in the first place, but make it better. Give it some new life. Put a new twist on it. But you do not go and totally change the rules and ruin what was good about it in the first place. These are the reasons why I think Rob Zombie is a dumbass and that he doesn't know the first thing about Halloween or the genius of John Carpenter:
(In no specific order)
1. I feel as if Rob Zombie never saw the orignial movie. If he had seen it, he would have realized that one of the best things about it are the camera angles. The angles are what brought Michael closer and closer to Laurie. They start off wide shots and then the more we get into the movie, they become closer and closer together that by the end its as if Myers is close enough to touch Laurie. It created such a perfect feeling of suspense. Where were these angles in the remake?
2. Jamie Lee Curtis played the part of Laurie Strode perfectly. She was the quiet and reserved virgin with a dark past that she has no idea about and Curtis knew just how to do it. Scout Taylor-Compton, on the other hand, didn't have a clue. I don't know if it was her fault or Zombie's but it was awful! Taylor-Compton was in a teeny bopper movie called Sleepover and she was also on the Disney Channel show That's So Raven. Does anyone else find this odd? Getting a teeny weeny gurrrrl to take the place of "the Scream Queen" herself (Curtis) is crazy to me. Even her part in the movie was terrible. He had Laurie making a long line of sexual jokes with her friends and being very outgoing, and we all know that Laurie had a huge "V" across her chest because she was so pure and she most definetly was not outgoing. A more experienced actress like Katie Holmes or Selma Blair would have been so much better.
3. The mask. Zombie created a beginning which was not in the original film to show us a glimpse of Michael's family so that we could see what made him go crazy. This idea wasn't so bad, but he screwed up the mask. Zombie has the mask in the movie like the ones you can buy at Wal-Mart, with the hair attached. In the orignial, no hair was attached to the mask, it was supposed to actually be Michael's hair. This is important.
4. Zombie allows Laurie to actually find out that Michael is her brother because when he first comes in contact with her, he hands Laurie a picure of her and him as children. This never happens in the original! One of the best parts is that Laurie has no idea why this crazy guy is trying to kill her. But in Zombie's, he has Michael Myers being almost gentle with Laurie and handing her the picture. When she says she doesn't understand he freaks out on her. We all know that Michael has never been gentle with Laurie. That scene was not consistent at all with what we know about the original.
5. Zombie has Michael kill Dr. Loomis! Michale isn't supposed to kill Dr. Loomis until the fifth movie. How can he just completely change this? Part of the fun is that Dr. Loomis is probably one of the only people that has a little control over Michael. Even though Michael isn't capable of having friends because he is pure evil, Dr. Loomis is the closest thing he's got. Dr. Loomis and Michael have this weird hate/love relationship, and for Zombie to allow Dr. Loomis to be killed just ruins all of it.
6. This movie has zero suspense. From the beginning to the end, all we see is one killing after another. Most of the killings are of insignificant people who have nothing to do with the movie. Seeing one person killed after another in the exact same way is not frightening nor entertaining. In the original, Michael only killed people who could get him closer to Laurie The whole movie he is obsessed with getting to "Sister" and its as if Zombie didn't grasp this concept at all.
7. He didn't even include the closet scene. The very last and best scene of the original is when Michael Myers has Laurie trapped in a closet. She is freaking out trying to stab him with a coat hanger and he is set on stabbing her to death. The closet scene was so cool because it made you feel like you were in the closet with her, with only a thin piece of wood separating you from your eternal demise. Zombie has Michael chase Laurie into an empty pool. It just did nothing for me. It wasn't the same sort of claustrophobic insanity that the closet scene was. It sucked.8. In the original, Michael killed his whole family, even his mother. Zombie only had Michael kill his step-dad and sister. His mother ended up killing herself later. This is another inconsistency. You can't go against what is originally there!!! And we all know Michael has no soul, why would he try to kill his sister but not kill his mother?
9. The acting of the teenage girls was terrible. They see Michael on the road watching them and they think nothing of it. They act like its no big deal that this huge creep guy with a mask on is standing no further than 10 yards away from them. They just laugh. They are also some of the most terrible actresses I have ever witnessed. What was going through Zombie's head when he cast these people?
10. Gore. Halloween isn't about gore. It's about being trapped and helpless. Scared out of your mind. Screaming and no one hearing you. Wanting to run but being too scared to move. It isn't about the gore Zombie. Seriously.
The end.
-Me
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